How to not get killed by Police

I might put this into a book one day but until then you'll have to read my blog.

How to not get killed by Police and live to tell about it.

It's really not that hard to not get killed by the police.  The first and easiest thing you can do is not be a criminal committing a crime.  Don't hang around criminals and don't let them hang around your neighborhood.  Don't carry guns, and don't give guns that look real to children.   None of the things I have mentioned so far cost any money.  As a matter of fact not buying a gun could save you hundreds of dollars.  If you buy a gun your putting money into the pockets of rich old white dudes that laugh at you when the police shoot you.  So stop buying guns.

Now if for some crazy reason you find yourself in the situation where the Police yell "STOP" or "Freeze"  and then say "POLICE"  I would suggest you stop and freeze,   Then say "I Give Up!"  or  "I surrender Don't shoot!!!!"   Now at this point is the most important part,   do not lower your hands or try to reach for your pockets stand absolutely still.  Follow the instructions of the officer do exactly as told no matter how much you hate doing it.  Yes, yes I know your civil rights are being violated but if you stay alive you can file a complaint afterwards.  If you don't cooperate then you find yourself in a pine box.   I believe the term is "Live to fight another day" 

Keep the officer calm and remind you are happy to cooperate,  don't make any smart ass remarks.  Now ask "Please tell me am I being arrested? and Why"  at this point you are still alive and that is the goal.  After that say nothing and pay careful attention. This is really important,  Did he/she read you your rights?   if yes then when they get to the end and say did you understand your rights say "No, I do not understand can I have a lawyer"   You now become safe you've said the magic word.  "Lawyer"  police hate that word but respect it.   The rest of the process sucks if you've committed a crime they are probably going to print you send you down to central booking and all that other nasty stuff.   After you have been booked ask for your phone call.  Call someone that will help you not the girlfriend you've been cheating on.   At this point you are still alive.  If' you have not committed a crime should be out soon and get a lawyer and sue them.   It's pay day!!!!   If you did commit a crime you've got problems that my blog won't help you with other than to maybe keep you alive.